I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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