Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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