escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
