You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
