Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Your dad touched me again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
