I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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