"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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