Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
