he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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