I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
