So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
