you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
