I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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