I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
