nut hugger
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
BRING THE BAGELS
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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