HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am one with the molecules
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
