You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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