i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
