just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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