Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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