so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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