My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
