Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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