You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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