you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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