K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
