If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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