sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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