Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
