Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize