where does the pee come out of this thing
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
