so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
