we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
