After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
