I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
