I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
did you just send me my own nude
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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