I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
nutella sex= disaster
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
