Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
