I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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