She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
