Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
