I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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