.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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