omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
