office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
