Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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