she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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