oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
