Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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