just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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