So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
