'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
