there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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