There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
