u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
too bad you live with your parents still
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
