She is in my trunk
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
