I need help removing her.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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