did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
