Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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